Review: TIME LIFE Soft Rock Classics Infomercial

Nothing beats a late night infomercial. Let me amend that. Nothing beats a late night infomercial when you're ten days cigarette free and have made a vow to not let alcohol pass your lips for at least the next month because you left some valuable shit on the subway platform last Sunday night after slurping down a bottle of cheap (but organic!) wine with an old friend. I actually LIKE infomercials and I don't watch (that much) TV. Something about the format turns a believer out of the abundant one quicker than you can say "Call Now".

Nothing beats a late night infomercial starring the 2 Russell's from Air Supply! We (moi; my roomie: Jet; my boyfriend: Will) thrilled to see the aging duo, cold chillin' on a set made to look like someones beach front villa, an acoustic guitar handily available for another chorus of Even the nights are be-he-ter. Even though his afro is flat and grey, Lead Singer Russell croaked out a heartfelt Since I Found Yewwwwww. Ahhh. That's money right there.

Nothing beats being able to sing along with said late night infomercial. My man surprised me with his uncanny renditions of those early '80's classics. He knows every tune from Year of the Cat to Blue Bayou to that Benny Mardones song that starts with the classic pedophile line She's Only Sixteen Years Old.... And all the residents of the funky basement at 602B had to get up on that dirty rug we call dance floor to move to I Wanna Kiss You All Over.

All I could think about while watching Air Supply was how weird it is that I know that the blonde-Andrew-Ridgley-back-up member of the group is last named Russell and the lead singer's first name is Russell, too. A girl in my high school slept with a bass player from the Air Supply band when they came to play Taipei back in the early '80's - or so the lore around school had it. I wanted to brag about this fact too, but that would be too much information, even for me.

What is "the other side of soft rock"? Someone got paid for that brilliant copy. Perhaps they were as perplexed as we were to find Bryan Adams' Please Forgive Me and that greasy, bearded dude singing Walking In Memphis in this collection. It didn't fit with all the stealing away and eclipsing of hearts. Which led to my boyfriend confessing a steamy affair with an old boss who looked like Bonnie Tyler back in the...(OK, this is not his blog after all....) Points off for leaving us without a much needed exploration of these so-called other facets of the soft rock zirconium. Five points added because I was making sure to brag over Will's singing: "My friend Pat works for TIME LIFE Europe and is responsible for selling this very collection....I can get it for free!!!!". So, Pat, if you're reading this....

Please don't innundate my blogspot with comments to this post requesting free copies of this collection. You're going to have to get up and get to working like all the rest of the non-connected world to afford your big ballad fix.