CHOOSE
OK, tell me why it's more frightening for me to declare today DAY ONE SMOKE FREE than it is to blog about my mental health?
Because upstairs you know Claude has a crisp new packet of Marlboros and at any moment you could be on the back deck flicking ash into an old tomato sauce can.
Everyone is talking about this book by Alan Carr and how it may help me to quit. Frankly I was always partial to B. Jack Gephardts The Enlightened Smokers Guide To Quitting. At the end of the day it has seemed to make more sense to just stop outright, grit my teeth and hang on for dear life as the hell of withdrawal sets in. It's difficult living with two smokers - and one of them is your lover. He says he'll quit for Christmas. I wanna force him on this journey with me, but I know know know that's not even the point.
In a life full of mistakes I have but one regret: smoking cigarettes.
So today I will try and remember that it's no fun to walk around feeling half poisoned all the time. Worrying about diaper breath, acrid smelling clothes and furry, smoked out teeth, the sludge that is my blood. Not even one puff is my rallying cry. Fresh vocal chords await!
